A318: Nanobus, Baby Bus
A319: Microbus, Shorty, Short Bus (Derogatory American phrase)
A320: MiniBus, NintendoJet, ScareBus, Chainsaw, Deathjet, Freddie
Kruegers wet dream, Toulouse Grasscutter, The Strimmer, Fifi, Die-by-Wire, the French Bitch, Sully's Ark
(What's the difference between an A320 and a beaver? 4000 trees per
A320 is known as 'The John Wayne' Because they 'Chop down trees, move
mountains and kill Indians!!'
A330: Slippy, The Aircraft in Plastic
A340: Four-person Hair Dryer, LowRider (takes so long to get off the ground)
A350: The Racoon
A380: Double Decker Bus, Megabus, Whalejet, the Wannabe Queen, Flying Forehead
A400M Atlas: Fatlass
Alouette: Chicken chaser
Antonov 2: Bumblebee, Annochka
AT6 Harvard: Halfard, Yellow Peril.
ATR: All Those Relays.
Avro Shackleton: Shacklecaster, flying Cow, Old Grey Lady, 10 Thousand rivets flying in loose formation
Avro Vulcan: Tin-triangle, Flat-iron, Mechanical Hang Glider
AW62 Argosy: Whistling Wheelbarrow, Whistling Tit
BAC 111:Pocket rocket, Bone Vibrator.
BAe146: Viscount 900, Smurfjet with 5 APU's, The Gas Chamber,
Bumble-et, Baby Jumbo, Bring Another Engine, 1-4-Sick, submarine- low
slow and out of sight, Airborne Auschwitz, Tonka Toy, 4 oil leaks
connected by an electrical fault, The Quadra-Puff, Lead Sled, Mini
Galaxy, Sky Dozer, Fisher Price 747, "1 aeroplane, 4 engines, needs 6",
The Slug, Toxic Terror, Muffler (Because all the noise is on the
inside), Fruit Bat, Flying cockroach, Dungbeetle, Jump Jet, The SUV of RJs, Jumbolino, Aluminum Buffalo, four hairdryers in close formation.
BAe ATP: Advanced/Another Technical Problem, The Parrot (cos it's
just a big Budgie), Ancient Technology Perpetuated, Bat Pee, Skoda, 80p,
Wigwam (A TeePee).
BAe Harrier: Leaping Heap
BAe Jetstream: Junkstream, Wetdream, Soda-stream, Sweatstream, Jetscream, AreWeThereYet?stream, J-Ball.
BAe Nimrod: Never Intended for Maritime Reconnaissance Or
Bristol Beaufighter: Whispering Death
Bristol Freighter: Whispering Death, 10,000 rivets in close formation
Beech 18: Flying snag, Bugsmasher
Beech 99: 99-Liner
Beech Baron: Ball tearer
Beech Bonanza: Doctor killer (its reputation as such is
Beech 200: Super K
Beech 1900: Flipper, Dolphin, Stonefish, Mini Guppy, Stretch King Air, Bitch 1900
Beech T-34: Radial Interceptor
Bell 206: Deathranger, Hydraulic palmtree
Bell UH-1: Huey, Hog, Dustoff
Beverly: Flying Longhouse
Bristol 188: The Mayfly
Bristol Britannia: The Whispering Giant (Was this the original
WG?), Freighter version: The Whispering Warehouse
Bristol Freighter: Freightener
Boeing Stratocruiser: Stratoboozer (a reference to the bar these aircraft had on board), "The Best Three Engined Plane Crossing the Atlantic"
Boeing E4B: Doomsday Plane, The Ark, Double Humper
Boeing T43: Gator (for Navigator)
Boeing 707: Slush bucket, Water wagon
Boeing 727: 3 holer, Tri-jet, Trisaurus, Triple crome-plated stovepipe, Jurassic Jet, Ear Blaster
Boeing 737: Tin mouse, Maggot, Pocket Rocket Socket, FLUF (Fat Little
Ugly F**cker), Light Twin, Baby Boeing, Fat Freddy, Guppy, Thunder Guppy (series 1/200), Yuppy Guppy, Super Guppy (series 3/4/500), Pig, Bobby (BOeing
BaBY), Rudder Rotor, Fat Albert, Dung Beatle.
Boeing 737NG: Super FLUF (Fat Little
Boeing 747: Jumbo Jet, Whale, The Valiant, Upstairs and Downstairs, Lump, Humpback, Queen of the Skies (used for many aircraft but probably mostly the 747), the Aluminum Overcast.
Boeing 747SP: Short Plane, Stupid Purchase.
Boeing 757: Stick Insect, AtariFerrari, Slippery Snake, Flying Pencil, Long Tall Sally (long legs and two great big…engines.), Greased Bullet
Boeing 757-300: Long misery, Subway Train.
Boeing 767: Dumpster, Slug, Stumpy
Boeing 777: B737 on steroids, Cripple Seven (I.F.E. Problems??),
Bigfoot (from the landing gear), Sasquatch, T7, Seventh Wonder, Trouble Seven, Grouper (the front end does look like one of those fish)
Boeing 787 Dreamliner: Tupperjet (plastic tupperware), Firebird (since several early on-board fires), Seven-Late-Seven, Bad Dream Liner, Flatliner, Sparky the Game Changer, Binliner, The microwave (cooks batteries).
B24: The Crystal Shithouse
B52: BUMF (Big Ugly Mother f***er) or BUFF. (Big Ugly Fat F****er), BFiftyTwoManyWheels
BN 2 Islander: 225 - 2 wings, 2 engines(?) 5 Wheels, Slander,
Bongo, Noise inducting sound machine, with a slow flying by-product
BN 2A Trislander: Try Harder, Bloody Nice Aircraft (!), Clockwork
TriStar, Poor Man's 727
Bombardier Q400: Mega-Whacker
Bombardier CRJ: BarbieJet, Canuckjet, Canuckiejet, Ken&Barbie Dreamjet, Reset Jet, Replacement Jet, Climb Restricted Jet
Buccaneer: Buccanana (due to its banana like shape)
CA-15 Winjeel: The Ginwheel
CAC Wirraway: The "Flying Chaff-cutter" (due to its clattering
Canberra T17: Warthog (due to its warty nose)
Casa: Christ A Sh***y Aeroplane
Cessna 150: One Filthy, the buck and a half, Cesspit.
Cessna A150 Aerobat: Aerosplat
Cessna 172 Cutlass: Strutless, Gutless, Flying Chevette (due to its lack of performance and Cessna’s efforts to make their aircraft similar to the cars of the era - that 1970’s upholstery!).
Cessna 177 Cardinal: The Pontif
Cessna 185: Buck eighty-five
Cessna 207: Crowdkiller, Slug, Moneymaker
Cessna 210 Centurian: Coffin, 2-Ton
Cessna 337 Sky Master: SkyDisaster, Sky Maggot, Push-me-Pull-you, Mix Master,
Bug Smasher, Push-me-Pull-me, Blow-me-Suck-me, suck & blow job.
Cessna 402 Utiliner: Undyliner.
Cessna Citation: Levitation, Crustacean, Mutation, Slowtation,
Nearjet, Bugjet, Twin Hoover
Cessna T-37: Tweet, Tweety or Tweety Bird (because of its high, shrill engine sound)
CF100: The Lead Sled, Clunk
CH-47 Chinook: Two palm trees fucking a dumpster, Hooker, Shithook, RPG Magnet, Death Banana
Concorde: Great White, The Rocket, Rockership, Pocket Rocket, Paraffin Pencil
Convair B36: Aluminium overcast
Convair F102 Delta Dagger: The Deuce
Convair 580: Mountain Master, Vomit Comet
Convair 990: Coronado, Smoky Joe
CRJ: Canadair Rookie Jet
CRJ200: Shortdart, Lawndart, barbiejet
CT-4A: (which was painted bright yellow and green in Oz Air Farce
service) - the Plastic Parrot
DC 2: Deuce.
DC 3: Dak, Dakotasaurus Rex, Gooney Bird, Draggin' Wagon, Douglas Racer (compliments of late BC/A columnist Torch Lewis and the airplane's leisurely 140 KIAS cruise speed), Dakleton (South African built Daks as replacement for AVRO Shackletons), Dizzy Three, Dowager Dutchess, Duck
DC 6: Douglasaurus Rex
DC 7: Douglas Seven Seas (From DC-7C)
DC 8: DC Late, Old Smokey, Greasy8, Death Cruiser, Whiney Bird, Cigarette Jets (Long skinny fuselages and long thin engines that smoked), Santa Monica Anteater (for Douglas' HQ city and the airplane's loooong nose)
DC 9-10/15: Pocket Rocket, Mini-Me, Baby Nine
DC 9: Greasy 9, Diesel 9, DC3-GT
DC 10: Diesel 10, Death Contraption 10, Death Cruiser 10, Daily Crash 10, Donald's Disaster, Crowd Killer
MD 11: The Diva, More Death 2, I also like 'Scud' for the MD-11, once you
launched it, you were not sure were it was going to land.
DH 82 Tiger Moth: Terror Moth.
DH Comet: Vomit
DH Vampire: The whistling pisscan.
DHC 1 Chipmonk: Chippie, Chukmonk.
DHC 3 Otter: Swine, Steam Otter.
DHC 4 Caribou: The Gravel Truck ("The only aircraft known to man
that could suffer a birdstrike from behind".)
DHC 5 Buffalo: Barfalo
DHC 6 Twin Otter: Tin Otter, Twin Rotter, Twotter, Stoneboat, Twottercopter, noise powered aeroplane, Double Udder
DHC 7 Dash Seven: Quad Otter
DHC 8 Dash Eight: Dash Late, Crashbait, DashTrash, Trash8, Crash8, Trauma Tube, Dashidy Trashidy Boom, The Sausage
DO 17: Flying Pencil
DO 228: Doorknob
DO 328: Dork
DO 328J: Dorkjet
Douglas Maurader: Flying Prostitute
Douglas A1D Skyraider: The Spad
Douglas A4 Skyhawk: Bantam Bomber, Scooter
Douglas AC47 (DC3 Gunship): Spooky, Puff the Magic Dragon, Fantasma, Dragon Dak
Douglas C54 Skymaster: Buscuit Bomber (from Berlin Airlift days)
Douglas C124 Globemaster: Shakey Bird, "Old Shaky" due to its tendency to do a lot of that in flight, and "the Aluminium Cloud" because it was, with four props and a double high fuselage basically built on DC-6 / C-118 wings, the hugest return on anyone's radar
Douglas Skywarrior: 'All Three Dead' a mixture of its awful early
safety record, three crew, and its US Navy designation of A-3D
EMB110 Bandierante: Bandit, Randy Banty
EMB120 Brasillia: Garbage Can, Brakillya, The Bro, Mexican King Air
EMB145: Jungle Jet, Barbie Jet, The Windows 98 Plane (seems like
you spend more time rebooting the aircraft than actually flying it),
Bendy Jet, Emb180 (taxi to the runway, then 180 for taxi back to ramp), WiSCOD (Whistling Shitcan of Death)
EMB ERJ: Brazillian Tube of Death, Jungle Jet, Brasilia Jet (Really p***es off the pilots...)
Ercoupe: Scarecoupe, Air Scoop
Fokker 27: The Dutch Dog Whistle, Whistle Pig, The Converter - (ie, it converted
fuel into noise).
Fokker 28: WhisperJet, She Who's Afraid of Snow
Fokker 50: F**kin' Fifty, Little Fokker, Pinocchio
Fokker 100: The Scud Because they point them at Europe and they
don't come back!, Dutch Oven (lousy air conditioning), Runway Hog, The Mother Fokker (as it is the largest Fokker, but also because it sucks like a bitch)
FA 18: Bug, Rhino
Fairey Gannet: Converter of Kerosene to Noise
Fairey Swordfish: Stringbag
F-4 Phantom: Grey Geese, Double Ugly, Rhino, "Luftwaffen-Diesel" (due to the noticeable smoke
trails), Fliegender Ziegelstein ("Flying Brick"), Luftverteidigungsdiesel ("Air Defense Diesel")
F-86 Sabre Sword
F-104 Starfighter Flying coffin, Widowmaker, Manned missile, Zipper, The Pregnant Hatpin, Erdnagel (literally "earth nail"), from the military term for "tent peg"
F-105 The Thud
F-111: Aardvark, The Pig
Fouga: Dog-whistle, Converter, Whistling Turtle
HS121 Trident: Rodent, Ground Gripper
HS125: Pocket rocket
HS748: Paraffin Budgie, the Draggie, The Twenty Ton Dog Whistle.
GAF Nomad: Go-mad, Gonad
Gazelle: Chicken leg
Gloster Javellin: Flying Trowel, Harmonious drag master, Flat
Gloster Meteor: Meatbox
Gulfstream I: G-String, G-Once
Gulfstream IV: Fourskin
Handley Page Hampden: Flying Suitcase
Hawker Hunter: Haunter
HP Halifax: Halibag
IAI Westwind: Lead Sled, Jew Canoe, Heebjet, Bagel Bomber, Yom
Jaguar: Septic Cat
Jet Provost: JP, The variable noise machine
Katana DA20: Flying sperm
Lake Amphibian: Doctor Killer
LearJet: FearJet, Noisemaker
Lockheed Constellation: Connie, Cancellation, “the best tri-motor ever” so good that sometimes the 4th engine works!
Lockheed C-5 Galaxy: Cumulus Aluminus, FRED (F*cking Ridiculous Economic Disaster)
Lockheed C130 Hercules: Fat Albert, Trash hauler, Herkybird, Cessna 130
Lockheed Jetstar: Lawn Dart
Lockheed 1011 TriStar: Bistar (Had so many RB211-22B failures),
El-10-Elemon, FrightStar, Tritanic, Swamp Eater, Swamp Buggy
Lockheed SR71: Blackbird, was also often called "Habu" because of its frequent deployment to Okinawa (where the habu is a nasty pit viper).
Lockheed T-33: T Bird
Lockheed YF12: The Thing!
MD 11: Mad Dog, Mega Dog, Mechanical Disaster 11, More Death 11, MD-911, She Who Won't Land, She Who Won't Sell
MD 80: Mad Dog 80, Stupid 80 (They call them Super 80's), Minimum Delay 80 (Minutes), Super Tube, Super Slug, Douglas Death Tube, Long Beach Sewer Pipe, Lead sled (becuase it was underpowered)
MD 95: John Holmes condom
MD Demon: Screamin Demon
Mitsubishi Zero: type one lighter ( due to its ability to readily catch fire when attacked!)
Mitsubishi MU-2: Widow Maker, Hiroshima Screamer, Rice Rocket, Kill You - 2
Mohawk 298/Nord 262: Pteradactyl
OH-58D Kiowa: Remote-Controlled Upside-Down Lawnmower, Kenny (the sight system looks like the South Park character)
Partenavia: Part-of-Mafia, Partial Aviator, Part Banana
PA-20 Pacer: The sled
PA-22 Tri Pacer: Pie Chaser, Fly Paper, Milk stool
PA-23 Aztec: Az-Truck, Azwreck, Flying Potato
PA-28 Arrow: Sparrow
PA-28 Cherokee: Cherry Tree, Chickopee
PA-28 Warrior: Worrier
PA-31 Navajo: Never-go, Have-a-go, The Ho
PA-34 Seneca: Senekiller
PA-38 Tomahawk: Traumahawk, Terrahawk, SpinMaster, Ratshit
PA-44 Seminole: Semenhole
PA-60: ScareOstar, Death Star.
PBY 5 Catalina: Pigboat, Dumbo.
Puma: Plastic pig, Percy.
Republic Thunderchief: Thud
RJ70/100: Real Jet
Robinson R22: The Happy Hopping Easter Egg (they're cute and colorful...and look like toys.)
SA 227 Metroliner: San-Antonio sewerpipe, Texas Sewer Pipe, Death
pencil, The Screamin Weenie, Texas Lawn Dart, Swetro (It got very hot in the summer),
Baltimore Whore (no visible means of support, skinny lil 'ol wings),
Terror Tube, "That noisy fucking thing", Widow maker, Kerosene Crowbar,
Fear tube, Necroliner, Buzzbomb, Metrowhiner, Death Tube, Turbo Dildo, San Antonio Sewer Rocket.... With Garrett Grenades.
SAAB: Slaab, Swedes Aren't Airplane Builders, S.O.B
SAAB 35 Draken: Flying Trowel
SAAB J29: Flying Barrel
S3 Viking: Hoover
Shorts Belfast: Belslug, Belslow (because it was so slow), in the early days they were called 'Dragmasters' because they were so slow and after Shorts fixed them with the strakes either side of the rear ramp they were called 'Fastbacks'
Shorts Sandringham: The Triple Decker Bus
Shorts Skyvan: The Whispering Nissan Hut
Shorts 330: The Two Tailed Shed, Horse Float, Milk Carton,
Winnebago, Box Car, Short Van
Shorts 360: Box, Shoe Box, Barn, Shed, Long Short, The box that the Skyvan
came in, Winnabego with Wings, The Irish Concorde
Sikorsky S61N: "Miss Piggy", (fat and ugly)
Socata Rallye: "tin parachute" for its near vertical descent into short fields, "tin parasol"-- for their reluctance to stall (with leading edge slats)--they just descend almost vertically
Sopwith Triplane: Tripehound
Strikemaster: Constant speed - variable noise machine.
Supermarine Scimitar: The Beast.
Supermarine Stranraer: Whistling Shithouse
Supermarine Walrus: Shagbat
T-21 Sedburgh: The Barge
TB-10 Tobago: Toboggan - because they only perform downhill!
TSR-2: Throw Some Rocks Two, Teararse
UH-60 Black Hawk: Lawn Dart, Crash Hawk
VC-9 Vanguard: Vickers Vibrator
VC-9 Vanguard Merchantman: The Guards Van, Whispering Warehouse, Shuddering Shithouse (because the crude crew toilet was in the entrance which was the forward service door on the original Vanguard. When the entrance door was open on the ground the whole world could see you having a pee!)
VC-10: Iron Duck, Vickers Knickers, The flying chandelier
Vickers Varsity: Flying pig
Vickers Wellington: Wimpey
Vultee BT13: Vultee Vibrator (due to shaking in a spin)
Westland Wessex: Walter Wessex or Wobbly Wessex